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I have to admit I have been having so much fun enjoying all I have to be thankful for that I have put off blogging about it! My family descended on our new home a week ago, and everyone has yet to leave. Thankfully, we have been having so much fun that the time has flown by, and the kids and I are bummed that it all has to end this evening! Then, it is back to school and work, with just three short weeks until it all starts again.
I feel as though all I am thankful for this year is so obvious—a loving family, two sweet and happy kids, a job I enjoy and a new church in which all three of us feel so welcome. Then, there's all our new friends and the start of ski/snowboard season! Here is what others said around the table Thursday evening when we sat down to a HUGE spread:
I am thankful for:
- God, family, friends, a good school and everything. JCH, 12 years
- My family being together for thanksgiving, good health of everyone in the family and my church's development. JWT, 66 years
- Love in our family, being together, new starts and being forgiven. BH, 42 years
- Jesus, family, jobs, good health, being together, Maggie. LMH, 42 years
- For spending this beautiful Thanksgiving with all my family, for good health, for God giving us this wonderful time together. NKT, 66 years
- Family, friends, shelter, freedom of religion, food. JAH, 13 years
- Family, friends, food, clothes, shelter, and that all of you are in my life! SNA, 9 years
- Cars. CCA, 7 years
- Everything. JNH, 9 years
I think that says it all!
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone (a little late).
For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.
My daughter’s school is doing a special series on bullying—appropriate as another child recently took her life in what appears to be a bullying-related incident. My girl just finished a book that describes a situation in which each student had to draw a names of a fellow student, and then, after a few weeks, sit face to face with that partner and give him or her a series of compliments. The book’s title character discovered that a “mean girl” was actually very resourceful, brave and dedicated to her family.
This led to a discussion about why it is so easy to believe the negative things people say to us—those hurtful things that keep us awake at night, questioning our self-worth, rather than having faith in all the kind things people say. At age 9, my girl was already aware of this—that mean words hit harder and affect her more than all the kind words she hears every day. We spent some time talking about her positive qualities, and how to handle a bully who can only see the negative in life and in the people around him or her.
After getting my daughter in bed, the conversation stuck with me and today, as we celebrate Veterans Day in the United States, continues to touch me even more. For so many veterans, their service has been sullied by the attitudes of their fellow citizens and, sometimes, even their families. So many people seem to forget we don’t join the military because we have a vision of destroying lives; we do it because of the commitment we have to our country, for the camaraderie with our military family and, sometimes, for the money, the latter not such much but, in a failing economy, it’s a job.
So, today and every day you can, thank a veteran and know it may take lots of kind words and thanks to overcome the negativity they may have suffered over the years. Many service members (and their families) have paid prices we can never imagine in an effort to protect the freedoms we all hold so dear.
For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.
So, we are settled in our new home, kids have started school, I am once again seeing patients, and evenings are spent at soccer practice. So, after four years of living in the “buckle of the Bible belt,” my next priority was finding a church.
Week One, we tried out a traditional Methodist church. We had been attending a great Methodist church in Texas, a place of much support to the kids and me before, during and after my deployment to Afghanistan, so that seemed the most logical place to start. It was not a good fit. It was an odd mix of traditional and contemporary. I just didn't leave with that “this is it” feeling.
Week Two, on a whim, I tried out a newly planted Lutheran church that meets in a movie theater a mile from our house. I was a bit nervous, wondering how on earth a movie theater could be turned into a house of God, but I really enjoyed it. The people were few in number—maybe 50 adults—but so welcoming. I was hugged, my name was remembered and several offers were made to assist with my move-in chores. The next week, we went back. The kids really enjoyed it, too although, in their case, it may have been the donuts and just the overall “wow, we are in a movie theater for church” glow. So, although the people were great, the church body is small and there are not very many choices for children or adult Bible studies.
Which brings me to the third try. The kids and I attended a nearby, HUGE nondenominational church this morning. There was a drummer, singers, a couple electric guitars and, I am pretty sure, a spotlight or two lit up the stage. Yes, it was a stage—not a pulpit! I just didn't get that “warm fuzzy.” It was too big, too catchy and too much glitter, without enough mention of God or His Word.
I find it interesting that, with a simple mouse click or two, I managed to find three such very different churches: one very traditional where we could just roll in every week, attend some classes and maybe not be missed if we skipped a couple weeks; one very contemporary where there is a TON of program offerings but I would have to work hard to find a niche and not just be a number on the attendance register each week; and one that is small but friendly, an oasis in a big town.
A friend and I had a good chuckle—she was completely put off by the thought of attending church where she might be missed, where the pastor knows her by name and even (gasp!) contacts her the next day to say thanks for coming! But, for me it felt "just right," a little like Goldilocks!!
For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.
I have a confession to make. I have been home almost two whole weeks and have not found the time or energy to tell all of you.
Coming home has been a very surreal experience. Some days, it is hard to believe that, just a few weeks ago, I was living in a tent in a war zone, eating tuna for dinner and planning missions. Now, I am sleeping in my very comfy bed, eating curry for dinner and volunteering as much as possible at my kids' elementary school. I have gone from directing the actions of more than 60 soldiers and airmen to driving the kid's shuttle—and usually arriving late, no matter how early I try to leave!
I had a great trip home with a short overnight in Baltimore. We lived for two years in the suburbs of D.C. while I did graduate school, and some friends from there showed up at the airport to welcome me back to the United States. They had signs, balloons and dinner reservations waiting; it was a wonderful way to return home.
The next day, after some difficulty getting a flight from Dallas to home (one of the struggles of living in a one-carrier town), I arrived here to a crowd of family and friends. It was a strange feeling, as most were the same people who saw me off a year ago. It was hard to remember if I was coming or going.
At the airport, I was surprised to see my oldest with her arm in a splint and sling. She had fallen from her swing set a few days before and fractured both of the bones in her arm. Since then, she has been to the operating room for a closed reduction and is now in a highlighter-yellow colored cast. She is none the worse for wear and I keep saying that, if that is the worst thing that happened to them while I was gone, it was a success!
I managed to make it home for our boy's birthday. He is seven years old but still very much a mama's boy! He got a snowboarding game for the Wii for his birthday and the last several nights have been spent in a game marathon where he kicks my tail every time.
I must admit not much has changed in West Texas, which sometimes makes it hard to believe I was really gone for a year. One exciting change: We have orders to move this summer to Denver, Colorado, something we are all looking forward to. That means selling our house, cleaning cupboards and preparing the kids for a new school. Thankfully, this year has proven what troopers they are and their resiliency is amazing.
I will keep writing and will keep you posted as I continue to settle in and return to work, eventually. I am enjoying this life as lady of leisure and chief soccer shuttle driver!
Lori
For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.
I can’t believe it! Our journey home has officially begun. After several days at Bagram, breathing the dust and wrapping up work, we left yesterday for the States. It is a bit of a convoluted process getting home. We flew to Kyrgyzstan and will spend a few days here awaiting a flight to the United States.
This old Russian base is not exactly somewhere I would want to be much longer than a day. We stay in a huge “circus tent” with a couple hundred other women. They leave the lights on all night and the heat at full blast. They lecture you about not leaving your valuables “unattended,” but you can’t take a backpack anywhere, and they provide nothing for you to lock your things in.
Oh, well, it is short lived. The gym is nice, chow is open 24 hours and I am at least here with friends—it would be miserable here alone. Oh, and how could I forget? We are allowed two beers a day! Believe it or not, I was so tired last night I didn’t even go have one. I will have to make up for that today.
If all goes well, I will be in Texas by Friday. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that this long year is over. I continue to thank God that our team was spared any major incidents, especially as I sit and talk to friends and hear of their experiences.
Afghanistan is a beautiful country, but there continues to be so much to do to end the conflict there and improve the lives of the population. We joke that we will be back in a few years when our numbers come up again, and I laugh with mixed emotions. I would enjoy seeing progress made, but also know that little will advance as long as the corruption and insurgency continue.
Enough introspection. I am off to find food, maybe browse the PX and turn in my gear. It will be nice to be rid of my body armor and know for certain I am truly out out of the war zone with no need for that heavy vest, anymore!
Lori
For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.
When you spend a year deployed, you sometimes forget that the real world is still out there, that war is not everything and life still happens. There are new songs, new TV shows, new laws, babies are born, and people pass on. Today, several things happened to remind me of this.
First, I got an early morning call that one of the engineers we had left in the province to assist the new team woke up with "severe" abdominal pain. After a HELO ride and quick ER evaluation, he was on his way to the OR for an appendectomy. Why now? Why him? We will never know, but I am very thankful it wasn't a few days from now, when the rest of us were boarding a plane and leaving him here to deal with this alone. He did great, is very proud of his "Afghanistan" scars and already trying to come up with his "so there I was" story.
I also ran into one of our communications technicians, whose wife was expecting their second child. He was anxious to make it home for the birth but it wasn't meant to be. His new son was born while we traveled to Bagram earlier this week. Mama and baby are doing great and looking forward to Daddy's return. So many men here miss the birth of their children—another price paid for serving their nation.
I frequently joke about the things the Army owes me after a year away—birthdays, holidays, my boy's first lost tooth—but I am so grateful for the things that didn't happen. I have my fingers and toes, we didn't lose a single soldier and, as much as I regret not doing "enough," we did plenty, and our legacy projects will continue to help the people of Afghanistan.
As the clock ticks down, I am more and more ready to head for home—to see my family, watch some spring soccer (GO TWISTERS!) and readjust to the real world. I want to listen to new music and catch up on all I have missed while being gone for a year. I will keep you all posted as we make the trek back to the States. I have no doubt it will be a humorous journey as I meet up with friends from training who are also heading home. I look forward to hearing their stories, as I have come to realize there is no single Afghanistan experience, and all have stories to tell.
Lori
For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.
We have achieved another milestone—our replacements have arrived! We were so excited to see them walk off the plane last week. It brought back memories of that day, so many months ago, when we stumbled onto the tarmac at Bagram, suffering from jetlag but excited to get started with our mission. They have stars in their eyes, eager to implement their ideas and do things their way. I believe our time has been too short, but one benefit is the infusion of fresh blood that re-energizes the mission every nine months.
I have spent the last few days saying more goodbyes. We visited the providers at both the provincial and district hospitals, and thanked them for all the hard work they are doing. It was especially hard to say goodbye to the hospital administrator at the district hospital. He has done an amazing job implementing our Strong Food program for malnourished children, and I wish so much I had a chance to do more with him and his staff. This is us, in front of the administration building at the hospital:
Then, tonight, the rest of our security-forces platoon headed to Bagram for their redeployment. Due to our "hodge-podge" of Air Force and Army members, we have been forced to leave the country at different times, something we had hoped to avoid. We had looked forward to sharing that first cold beer together in Germany on our way home. Much like the last time, we had to say goodbye to our constant protectors. I did get a little teary. These men have taught me much, both about myself and "soldiering," things I could never have imagined needing to know (and, before this, never wanting to know). I respect them immensely and look forward to our paths crossing again.
But, I think I am getting better at this goodbye thing. This time, as they drove away, I didn't cry nearly as hard and I have yet to shed one tear as I write this. Just think, by the time I say goodbye to everyone else at Bagram, it will be "old hat" and I can just smile at the memories as I walk onto the plane! My tears will become the happy kind as I approach home and see those two little humans (and a bunch of big ones, too) waiting there for me!
LoriFor Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.
