When words hurt

My daughter’s school is doing a special series on bullying—appropriate as another child recently took her life in what appears to be a bullying-related incident. My girl just finished a book that describes a situation in which each student had to draw a names of a fellow student, and then, after a few weeks, sit face to face with that partner and give him or her a series of compliments. The book’s title character discovered that a “mean girl” was actually very resourceful, brave and dedicated to her family.

This led to a discussion about why it is so easy to believe the negative things people say to us—those hurtful things that keep us awake at night, questioning our self-worth, rather than having faith in all the kind things people say. At age 9, my girl was already aware of this—that mean words hit harder and affect her more than all the kind words she hears every day. We spent some time talking about her positive qualities, and how to handle a bully who can only see the negative in life and in the people around him or her.

After getting my daughter in bed, the conversation stuck with me and today, as we celebrate Veterans Day in the United States, continues to touch me even more. For so many veterans, their service has been sullied by the attitudes of their fellow citizens and, sometimes, even their families. So many people seem to forget we don’t join the military because we have a vision of destroying lives; we do it because of the commitment we have to our country, for the camaraderie with our military family and, sometimes, for the money, the latter not such much but, in a failing economy, it’s a job.

So, today and every day you can, thank a veteran and know it may take lots of kind words and thanks to overcome the negativity they may have suffered over the years. Many service members (and their families) have paid prices we can never imagine in an effort to protect the freedoms we all hold so dear.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Starting for home!

I can’t believe it! Our journey home has officially begun. After several days at Bagram, breathing the dust and wrapping up work, we left yesterday for the States. It is a bit of a convoluted process getting home. We flew to Kyrgyzstan and will spend a few days here awaiting a flight to the United States.

This old Russian base is not exactly somewhere I would want to be much longer than a day. We stay in a huge “circus tent” with a couple hundred other women. They leave the lights on all night and the heat at full blast. They lecture you about not leaving your valuables “unattended,” but you can’t take a backpack anywhere, and they provide nothing for you to lock your things in.

Oh, well, it is short lived. The gym is nice, chow is open 24 hours and I am at least here with friends—it would be miserable here alone. Oh, and how could I forget? We are allowed two beers a day! Believe it or not, I was so tired last night I didn’t even go have one. I will have to make up for that today.

If all goes well, I will be in Texas by Friday. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that this long year is over. I continue to thank God that our team was spared any major incidents, especially as I sit and talk to friends and hear of their experiences.

Afghanistan is a beautiful country, but there continues to be so much to do to end the conflict there and improve the lives of the population. We joke that we will be back in a few years when our numbers come up again, and I laugh with mixed emotions. I would enjoy seeing progress made, but also know that little will advance as long as the corruption and insurgency continue.

Enough introspection. I am off to find food, maybe browse the PX and turn in my gear. It will be nice to be rid of my body armor and know for certain I am truly out out of the war zone with no need for that heavy vest, anymore!

Lori

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.