Home sweet home

I have a confession to make. I have been home almost two whole weeks and have not found the time or energy to tell all of you.

Coming home has been a very surreal experience. Some days, it is hard to believe that, just a few weeks ago, I was living in a tent in a war zone, eating tuna for dinner and planning missions. Now, I am sleeping in my very comfy bed, eating curry for dinner and volunteering as much as possible at my kids' elementary school. I have gone from directing the actions of more than 60 soldiers and airmen to driving the kid's shuttle—and usually arriving late, no matter how early I try to leave!

I had a great trip home with a short overnight in Baltimore. We lived for two years in the suburbs of D.C. while I did graduate school, and some friends from there showed up at the airport to welcome me back to the United States. They had signs, balloons and dinner reservations waiting; it was a wonderful way to return home.

The next day, after some difficulty getting a flight from Dallas to home (one of the struggles of living in a one-carrier town), I arrived here to a crowd of family and friends. It was a strange feeling, as most were the same people who saw me off a year ago. It was hard to remember if I was coming or going.

At the airport, I was surprised to see my oldest with her arm in a splint and sling. She had fallen from her swing set a few days before and fractured both of the bones in her arm. Since then, she has been to the operating room for a closed reduction and is now in a highlighter-yellow colored cast. She is none the worse for wear and I keep saying that, if that is the worst thing that happened to them while I was gone, it was a success!

I managed to make it home for our boy's birthday. He is seven years old but still very much a mama's boy! He got a snowboarding game for the Wii for his birthday and the last several nights have been spent in a game marathon where he kicks my tail every time.

I must admit not much has changed in West Texas, which sometimes makes it hard to believe I was really gone for a year. One exciting change: We have orders to move this summer to Denver, Colorado, something we are all looking forward to. That means selling our house, cleaning cupboards and preparing the kids for a new school. Thankfully, this year has proven what troopers they are and their resiliency is amazing.

I will keep writing and will keep you posted as I continue to settle in and return to work, eventually. I am enjoying this life as lady of leisure and chief soccer shuttle driver!

Lori

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Starting for home!

I can’t believe it! Our journey home has officially begun. After several days at Bagram, breathing the dust and wrapping up work, we left yesterday for the States. It is a bit of a convoluted process getting home. We flew to Kyrgyzstan and will spend a few days here awaiting a flight to the United States.

This old Russian base is not exactly somewhere I would want to be much longer than a day. We stay in a huge “circus tent” with a couple hundred other women. They leave the lights on all night and the heat at full blast. They lecture you about not leaving your valuables “unattended,” but you can’t take a backpack anywhere, and they provide nothing for you to lock your things in.

Oh, well, it is short lived. The gym is nice, chow is open 24 hours and I am at least here with friends—it would be miserable here alone. Oh, and how could I forget? We are allowed two beers a day! Believe it or not, I was so tired last night I didn’t even go have one. I will have to make up for that today.

If all goes well, I will be in Texas by Friday. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that this long year is over. I continue to thank God that our team was spared any major incidents, especially as I sit and talk to friends and hear of their experiences.

Afghanistan is a beautiful country, but there continues to be so much to do to end the conflict there and improve the lives of the population. We joke that we will be back in a few years when our numbers come up again, and I laugh with mixed emotions. I would enjoy seeing progress made, but also know that little will advance as long as the corruption and insurgency continue.

Enough introspection. I am off to find food, maybe browse the PX and turn in my gear. It will be nice to be rid of my body armor and know for certain I am truly out out of the war zone with no need for that heavy vest, anymore!

Lori

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Life goes on ...

When you spend a year deployed, you sometimes forget that the real world is still out there, that war is not everything and life still happens. There are new songs, new TV shows, new laws, babies are born, and people pass on. Today, several things happened to remind me of this.

First, I got an early morning call that one of the engineers we had left in the province to assist the new team woke up with "severe" abdominal pain. After a HELO ride and quick ER evaluation, he was on his way to the OR for an appendectomy. Why now? Why him? We will never know, but I am very thankful it wasn't a few days from now, when the rest of us were boarding a plane and leaving him here to deal with this alone. He did great, is very proud of his "Afghanistan" scars and already trying to come up with his "so there I was" story.

I also ran into one of our communications technicians, whose wife was expecting their second child. He was anxious to make it home for the birth but it wasn't meant to be. His new son was born while we traveled to Bagram earlier this week. Mama and baby are doing great and looking forward to Daddy's return. So many men here miss the birth of their children—another price paid for serving their nation.

I frequently joke about the things the Army owes me after a year away—birthdays, holidays, my boy's first lost tooth—but I am so grateful for the things that didn't happen. I have my fingers and toes, we didn't lose a single soldier and, as much as I regret not doing "enough," we did plenty, and our legacy projects will continue to help the people of Afghanistan.

As the clock ticks down, I am more and more ready to head for home—to see my family, watch some spring soccer (GO TWISTERS!) and readjust to the real world. I want to listen to new music and catch up on all I have missed while being gone for a year. I will keep you all posted as we make the trek back to the States. I have no doubt it will be a humorous journey as I meet up with friends from training who are also heading home. I look forward to hearing their stories, as I have come to realize there is no single Afghanistan experience, and all have stories to tell.

Lori

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

More goodbyes

We have achieved another milestone—our replacements have arrived! We were so excited to see them walk off the plane last week. It brought back memories of that day, so many months ago, when we stumbled onto the tarmac at Bagram, suffering from jetlag but excited to get started with our mission. They have stars in their eyes, eager to implement their ideas and do things their way. I believe our time has been too short, but one benefit is the infusion of fresh blood that re-energizes the mission every nine months.

I have spent the last few days saying more goodbyes. We visited the providers at both the provincial and district hospitals, and thanked them for all the hard work they are doing. It was especially hard to say goodbye to the hospital administrator at the district hospital. He has done an amazing job implementing our Strong Food program for malnourished children, and I wish so much I had a chance to do more with him and his staff. This is us, in front of the administration building at the hospital:

Then, tonight, the rest of our security-forces platoon headed to Bagram for their redeployment. Due to our "hodge-podge" of Air Force and Army members, we have been forced to leave the country at different times, something we had hoped to avoid. We had looked forward to sharing that first cold beer together in Germany on our way home. Much like the last time, we had to say goodbye to our constant protectors. I did get a little teary. These men have taught me much, both about myself and "soldiering," things I could never have imagined needing to know (and, before this, never wanting to know). I respect them immensely and look forward to our paths crossing again.

But, I think I am getting better at this goodbye thing. This time, as they drove away, I didn't cry nearly as hard and I have yet to shed one tear as I write this. Just think, by the time I say goodbye to everyone else at Bagram, it will be "old hat" and I can just smile at the memories as I walk onto the plane! My tears will become the happy kind as I approach home and see those two little humans (and a bunch of big ones, too) waiting there for me!

Lori

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Women in Afghanistan

As we look forward toward our pending transition out of Afghanistan, I continue to revise our list of lessons learned and things we would encourage our replacements to do differently. We had several challenges during our nine months here. We moved our 80-member team from Bagram to austere conditions in the province, transitioned through three different higher Task Forces (the current one being French), and have been limited in our ability to move around the area due to continued threats. With all these challenges on our plate, some things had to get pushed to the side and one that did, much to my regret, was our focus on women’s affairs.

Women are still viewed as property in Afghanistan, second class—maybe even third or fourth—behind the men, boys and, sometimes, even animals. They work in the fields, wash clothes in the rivers or streams and carry water from centralized wells. They share their home with their husbands’ other wives—up to four wives is an accepted practice here—and many were never taught to read or write. It is an eye-opening experience after growing up in the United States with all the freedoms we experience there.

It is interesting to visit various projects and villages in the province. The men and young boys come to greet us, asking for pens and often wanting to show off their English-speaking skills. The women never approach and the young girls hang back, watching the boys and everything that is happening. Even when they realize there are women in the group, the girls still hang back and run away if we attempt to approach.

That said, last week, a representative of the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) scheduled a mission for us to visit sites where she has funded literacy programs for women. It was so thrilling to see 20 women sitting around their teacher, so proud of themselves for knowing how to write their names! At each site, the women circled around us, talking about how challenging it had been to not know how to read and how much they are enjoying this opportunity. In addition to teaching literacy skills, the program will also teach women technical skills such as carpet weaving or tailoring, another opportunity the women look forward to.

This visit helped me to realize that, although our team was limited in the programs we were able to implement for women, good things are still happening for them throughout Afghanistan. It also emphasized the great work being done by other organizations in the area. As security improves, more programs will be able to transition to these knowledgeable civilians and the military can transition out of Afghanistan, a true measure of success for what we have done over here.

Lori

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

The first of the goodbyes

Today, we said the first of our goodbyes. The good news? This means our tour is coming to an end. The bad news? This means our tour is coming to an end.

When this whole thing started last year, someone told me that, at the end of the tour, I would have made some friends for life. This man was so right, and the point hit home tonight as I said goodbye to 14 men who spent the last eight months of their lives protecting mine.

Our team was put together with a hodge-podge of active duty, reserve, National Guard and individual Ready Reserve soldiers and airmen. Some were with us as volunteers and for some it was their turn to deploy. Others had left the Army years before but had received the dreaded letter in the mail calling them back to active service. Yes, you read that right. We do not have a draft but, for most of us, even when we leave active duty, we still have a commitment to the military.

Fifteen of the men assigned to our team were civilians, who were working jobs and living their lives when a letter showed up in their mailbox a year ago telling them they were needed back in uniform. They could have torn it up and pretended it never arrived, but these men answered the call and left their families to spend a year in Afghanistan. They came from various walks of life—policemen, construction workers, businessmen, general laborers and a postal worker.

These men worked for our team as gunners, drivers and dismounts. They cleared buildings before I entered, then stood guard at the door, often for hours in the hot sun, while meetings were conducted. They drove our team through firefights and watched their buddies get injured in an IED (improvised explosive device) explosion. They smiled at the Afghan people, even as they stayed on full alert for the feared suicide bombers. And, thank God, they are all going home with all their fingers and toes to their families.

So, tonight, we all said our goodbyes, the first of many we will have over the next month as we prepare to leave. As I wiped the tears off my face, I thanked each of them for their support and dedication to our mission. If our paths ever cross again, I will be proud to serve with each of them, anywhere, anytime.

Lori

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Full moon over Afghanistan

I came around the corner this evening and saw the full moon above the snowcapped mountains and had to take some pictures. Makes the last couple days of rain and all the mud ALMOST worth it.

Lori

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership, published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.