I love vacation

I love vacation, even the vacations when I never leave town. I think it
has more to do with not having to work than visions of exotic locales.
I do like my job but, some days, the demands pile up and my patience
falls desperately short of the expectations. So, after a week of
feeling like the bug who loses to the windshield, we headed off to
sunny Arizona and Southern California for a week of being spoiled by my parents and time for the kids with their cousins.

We took in a spring training game. The Reds won.

We played at the beach.

And stayed to see the sun set.

We even visited Knott's Berry Farm, where my mom had been more than 50 years ago! We kept asking her if it looked familiar!
The time was much needed for all of us, and my previous stressful week was quickly forgotten (at least until I returned to work today). Time with family just makes it all worth it!

The speed bump that became a high spot

Friday was one of those days that will linger in my mind for quite awhile.

It was the end of a long week. Sick children, life stressors, work demands—all the typical things that pile up in the face of an approaching weeklong vacation. I thought I had the week pretty well planned in advance—a few days of “sick call” and a wide-open Friday afternoon to ensure a few quiet, patient-free hours to tie up loose ends before leaving the nurse in charge. (I hate leaving too much for my covering physician to deal with. He has his own daily demands and, as we all know, covering for another provider can destroy your week.)

Then, as only the military can do, a huge speed bump was put in the middle of my well-planned road! In response to the events occurring in Japan—the earthquake, the tsunami and, now, a nuclear threat—the military was offering voluntary evacuations to family members located in that country. The evacuees—mainly women and children—were being routed through various cities, and our location was chosen to support this mission. The request was for a provider to be on site at all times to provide acute care and address any medical concerns that might arise as the families were routed to final destinations elsewhere in the United States.

I scrambled to find someone to come to the house in the early morning hours and get the kids off to school. A few good friends have made the offer to “call anytime,” so I took one up on it, and he was quick to say yes. (Proof that the week wasn’t all that bad is that it reminded me of the wonderful friends I have made here in a short six months!)

When I arrived at the site, I was pleasantly surprised to see how organized the event was. The USO and Red Cross were there with food, hygiene items and a bank of computers and phones for the evacuees to utilize. The support staff had established play areas for the various aged children (everything from playpens to a bounce house to Wii) and staff to supervise them. They even had military members in place to walk the animals that were accompanying the families.

As the evacuees arrived, it was awesome to watch young soldiers, sailors and airmen assist the travel-weary women by carrying their baggage, pushing strollers and cleaning up after pets. The women were free to complete all the necessary paperwork and arrange their follow-on travel, knowing that everything else was covered, and the kids—and pets—were able to spend all their stored-up energy in a safe environment.

Except for treating some nausea and hypertension and handing out lots of Band-Aids, I provided very little patient care. In the course of the day, eight to 10 new moms and their babies came through—one just 6 days old—and I touched base with most of them to ensure they were doing OK and didn't need additional support. In general, I just watched and was so proud to be a part of this organization that sometimes can frustrate me to no end but, at the end of the day, can put together an operation to support our own that is second to none.

Although the evacuation initially added stress to an already stressful week, I am so glad I had the opportunity to assist in this massive undertaking, talk to these people, hear their stories and provide what little relief I could. It may have started as a road bump in my busy life, but it ended up being one of those experiences that will stick with me as a highlight of my time in the military.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

The search continues

I am still looking for our “forever” house. My military friends will understand this.

We live in many places while serving our country. Most members of the military move every 3 to 4 years. We adapt to new communities, new cultures, new norms. Our kids adjust to new schools, new friends, new sports teams. And, through it all, we live in dorms or base housing, apartments or rental homes, and we occasionally purchase homes, usually knowing it is only for the duration of our relatively short stay in that community.

When we buy we look for something that will “do” for those few years, with a relatively short commute, safe in case we have to leave our spouse and children there alone during a deployment, something in which we can acquire some sweat equity, something with good resale potential.

Now, with a relatively short time remaining for me in the Air Force, I am considering the option of staying put in this community, allowing my hoodlums to finish high school with friends with whom they attend elementary school. The decision is tough but, when my retirement rolls around, they will be in middle school, a tough time in any child’s life and a tough time to start over.

So, we spend our weekends looking for “the one,” the house that won't just “do” for the duration of the assignment but maybe “forever” (or at least until the boy child finishes high school). We have found a few that are OK, that meet our basic needs. But we haven’t found anything yet that is on a quiet street, has enough beds and bathrooms to accommodate my parents’ frequent visits, has a backyard big enough for impromptu soccer games but not too much for me to keep mowed and a reasonable price that enables me to keep the kids in their current elementary school! Do you think I am asking too much?

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Simple pleasures

Today is one of those days I initially railed against when the school calendar was released. It’s a “non-contact” day, as they call it in this district, a day set aside for conferences but not a federal holiday. Thus, it’s a day I am forced to either take leave from work or enroll the kids in all-day care at the school. I chose this school for its quality before-and-after school care program as well as the all-day care it makes available on breaks. They do a ton of activities, and the kids have grown very attached to the staff members, but I feel that, if my children have a day off from school, they should get a day of freedom—a day to sleep in, watch bad TV before breakfast and maybe hit the skate park when the “big kids” are still in school.

So, I was frustrated that I would have to “burn” a day of leave to stay home with the kids. Now that the day has rolled around, I’m loving my break from clinic. I had a long day Monday, saw 25 patients in 3.5 hours of sick call, followed by my first experience of precepting an NP student.

So, today, I slept in and got in a workout before the kids woke up. Then, the best part of the day so far, my girl child delivered one of those notes we parents are so familiar with: “Dear Mom: Come downstairs and take a seat.” I honestly had no idea what to expect. A story request, maybe a “show” she had choreographed, a made-up play? What I found was a clean room with the bed made and her table pulled into the middle, all set for tea! We enjoyed a rare chance to just sit together and visit. We talked about her artwork that she has displayed in her room and about the colors she would like to paint her room, once we find that house.

So many days are spent running from activity to activity, task to task. We go to school and work, come home and complete homework, cook diner, and then hurry through showers so we have time to read before bed. This morning provided that rare opportunity to just sit and enjoy my girl’s company without worries about the day. So, my thanks to the school district for this wonderful opportunity to enjoy an unstructured day with my babies! And tomorrow? I have another of these “forced” days off, a day we’re looking forward to spending on the slopes with friends!

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Shopping blues

I, like many women out there, like to shop. I also like a bargain and rarely buy unless I think I have gotten a “deal,” so shopping has been difficult lately. It might be what I’m shopping for—a house, some furniture—or simply my perception of a deal!

The area where I am house hunting has weathered the financial storm pretty well, looking at it from my side of the fence. I hear stories from people who live here that most home prices have fallen more than a hundred thousand dollars, but they still seem pretty pricey to me!

The issue is the elementary school. It’s rated at the top in the state and I firmly believe it has helped maintain property values, because people want to start their children off here. I refuse to move my kids from this school, as they have settled in nicely, love their teachers and are thriving in the before- and after-school care program. And what a program! They’re taking TaeKwon-Do, participating in science clubs and my girl has attended two sessions of cooking classes—all this in addition to homework assistance (run by the teachers) and an excellent staff! Needless to say, we are not changing schools, so the search continues. So far, I have seen several homes I like, but none I love and, since this is, potentially, a home we will live in for several years, I want to love it!

One thing I did manage to buy yesterday—a new car! I had been driving a 2001 Suburban, which I loved and hated to give up. It was comfortable, old enough that I had ceased caring about the kids eating in it, and I knew how it responded in most conditions. It responded poorly. It was not a four-wheel drive, and it had a tendency to slip-slide on almost anything. Having been built in 2001, it lacked any significant safety equipment for the rear seat, where my most important riders sit.

All of these drawbacks led to some pretty white-knuckled drives down from the mountains. Many days, I was thankful for the heavy traffic, because it kept speeds down and I could drive slow, not feeling pressured to push the limits of my aging ’burb! So, last night the kids and I headed off to see our friendly Ford dealer and we are now the proud owners of a new 2010 Explorer—old body style, truck frame, all the bells and whistles for safety and heated seats! We are pretty darn excited!

But—out of the mouths of babes—my boy just told me, “Mom, you should have bought the more expensive thing first; the house, then the car.” Thanks, son. Maybe you will stay home today while I go out and test our new toy, driving to the mountains! We will table the home search for a few weeks; we have nothing but time!

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Keepin' on bloggin'

Maintaining this blog often competes with other priorities—cleaning house and grocery-shopping, to name two. I am so thankful to Sigma Theta Tau International for providing this forum and for Jim Mattson, editor of Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), who ensures that what I say makes sense and helps keep me on track. A couple times, he has sent an e-mail asking if I plan to continue posting, a very polite way of encouraging me to get typing!

So, recently, in the midst of a rare Saturday morning without my children, I managed to write three posts and even looked over the blog design and statistics. I had no idea there was a way to see how many people had accessed the site and where they were from. I was pleasantly surprised to see there have been more than a thousand hits since my blog was created almost two years ago. Now, I realize that really isn't much when compared to many others out there, but it gave me a little lift to think of all those people reading what I write.

What was fascinating to me was all the foreign countries where people access my blog: Malta, South Africa, China. What do those people think when they look at what I write? Why did they land on this page? Are they nurses? Are they looking for information on Afghanistan? Are they Americans living abroad or are they native to those places?

I also took time to update the “blogs I am following” link (click on "Lori" under "Contributors" in the right-hand column) and was a little sad to see that some people had stopped posting blog entries. One of the soldiers on the team we replaced had stopped updating his blog when he returned home from Afghanistan, in the summer of 2009. I enjoyed his writing and hope he has returned to the “peace-loving lifestyle” he was so looking forward to.

I also added a favorite website—“The Pioneer Woman.” If you’ve never visited the site, I encourage you to check it out. Several months had passed since I had last viewed it but, after receiving her cookbook for Christmas, I plan to become a regular again. Her humorous reflections on farm living always lift my spirits. I also—finally—updated the link to Meg’s blog, “Soup is not a finger food.” Meg is an old friend who frequently has a sassy way to state the obvious. Reading her posts brings a smile to my face, as I remember the days I spent hanging out in the ’hood.

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International.

Greener pastures

Many of us who spend the majority of our time in military medicine see private practice as so much better. No inspector general visits, no “working for the man” and no threat of deployment. We often feel as though, with meeting access demands, completing medical evaluation boards and fulfilling all the required military training (frequently on our own time because of patient care demands) with no end in sight, we are on a hamster wheel.. But, as two of my good friends have discovered, the grass is not always greener!

One of my friends, a physician, left the military to join a large group practice connected to a large hospital. He enjoys the time off, choosing his own hours, and the increased time he haswith his family, but he is considering rejoining the Air Force, because he senses something is missing. There is no camaraderie within the practice, and he misses feeling that he is serving a greater purpose. He still has pressure to see patients and sees changes to insurance reimbursement limits as potentially detrimental to private practice. He also realizes the impact of walking away from the retirement money. As he puts it, “I still work for the man; it is just a different man and I get to choose the clothes I wear to work!”

Another friend left the military just a few years short of retirement. She was dissatisfied with future assignment opportunities and wanted her spouse to have stability in his non-military career. After a recent move, she struggled to find a job. Medical-provider positions are not typically listed in a newspaper and she almost resorted to going door-to-door or hiring a headhunter. Now, working in a practice she enjoys, she can still tell stories that would make most of us military medical members’ toes curl! She discovered the medical assistant wasn’t wiping her exam tables after every patient, and my friend recently returned to work after a vacation to discover she was double booked and, because a colleague unexpectedly needed time off, had been volunteered to take on that provider’s schedule.

So, on those days when I feel like the hamster wheel is more challenging than usual, I remind myself that the grass is not always greener. When it comes to medicine, you can change the clothes you wear to work or the “man” you work for, but that elusive “perfect” job or practice may not exist. Sometimes, you have to find the “perfect” where you are and focus on that; and hope you don't fall off the wheel!

For Reflections on Nursing Leadership (RNL), published by the Honor Society of Nursing, Sigma Theta Tau International (STTI).